I’ve been living with my dog for over five years now, and I feel like I have a good understanding of his features, how well he performs, his build quality and we have to talk about it, battery life.
This is Charlie,
my five year old, mixed breed pup. He stands 54 centimeters tall and around 1 meter from snout-to-tail. I couldn’t get him to stand still enough to measure accurately. He curls up very nicely to snuggle in your lap. Or stretches out to take up the entire back seat of a Kia Picanto. This dog’s got size versatility. While he fits in the leg space of the front seat of the car, he doesn’t like it, and he’ll be sure to look extremely miserable if asked to sit there while the recycling takes up his usual back seat position.
Let’s talk build quality
A lot of dogs come with build quality issues from years of inbreeding to maintain a certain unique look. Our boy is built from all the best qualities of many breeds, and while his legs may be skinnier than a catwalk model, he is fast, agile and provides a firm handshake when a treat is involved.
His coat is always silky smooth, even when he hasn’t been bathed in a month. Which is good because he really hates being bathed. Like, really hates it. This model is built with incredible obedience, trust and loyalty. So when you’re doing something torturous like brushing his teeth, clipping his nails or bathing him, he’ll lovingly but miserably cooperate. Only attempting to sneak away when you’re looking in the other direction.
That brings us to performance
Loyalty and obedience play into his ability to be trained, and therefore what a joy he is to be around. There’s no insane barking, or destruction - except for the early months where a few shoes met their demise. He has even learnt that while it is incredibly exciting that your family member has come home after 5 whole minutes taking out the trash, and a parade is most definitely in order, sitting impatiently on your bed and waiting for the family member to put down what they are carrying and let you know they are ready for the parade is the right thing to do.
This feature has begun to malfunction in the last year due to sibling trauma, discussed later in this review. However it can still be activated with a stern ‘BED!’ command, repeated until you feel like you’re speaking another language. Some back talk can be expected.
The training mode on this model requires some patience but he learns fast and is more than willing even without treats. It’s got to be said, the excitement and joy to simply spend quality time without any thrills is an incredible feature.
In more recent years, the old dog new tricks trope has proven untrue with this model. He has learnt to spin, crawl and vacuum up left overs. All recent features provided through over the air command updates.
Herding is built into the model as standard. If family members are in separate areas of the house, they will be herded to one area for maximum quality time together.
The hard truth
Not everything is perfect. The model has serious selective hearing, the bug is most obvious when new people have arrived in the home or when another dog is walking by and their butt must be sniffed immediately.
Poops are also enormous and difficult to coax from the model even though it is clear the time has come. Often one has to jog up and down a strip in order to ensure the poop comes out in an appropriate place. If this is not done, the waste management system may misfire on a cement walkway, usually in front of a busy gawking crowd.
Sibling Trauma
In the last year a sibling was introduced with whom the model now shares a room to recharge. The sibling’s late night loud demands for food has clearly disturbed the charging process. Their introduction has resulted in obedience features glitching and treat consumption for pain and suffering going up significantly.
However the protective features seem to have been turned up to a whole new level with family protection becoming a top priority. Unless I’m the only one in the house, at which point I am left to fend for myself while a much needed emergency recharge is completed.
Still - despite the odd malfunction - this model is too good to ever upgrade.
Should I get this model?
I have no issue recommending this model to anyone at all, but sadly for you - Charlie is one of a kind. He’s not for sale. While he may have some quirks and glitches, this model brings daily joy, laughter, and loyalty no designer could ever replicate. In fact it’s a bit unfair I’ve even shared this review with you given you can’t do anything but admire my good boy. Sorry.
“Everyone thinks they have the best dog. And none of them are wrong.” W.R. Purche