“You have so many shorts!” my wife exclaimed as I showed her my on-sale Lululemon purchases with excitement. We were in Canada for our daughter to meet the family and were taking the opportunity to do some shopping while she was in a good mood— my daughter, not my wife.
“I wanted this black one, and the lady said I got 40% off if I bought a second neon orange one. I couldn’t not take that deal!” I lamented, feeling defensive. I can’t resist a good sale, outlet malls are my kryptonite. My wife’s already moved on, she’s enjoying the rare chance she gets to shop in an actual mall.
We live on an island with around eighty thousand people. That translates to limited choice especially if you like a particular brand - only one small yoga studio sells the aforementioned Lululemon on island for example. “Too late to take them back, it was a no returns deal.”
While shorts have been around for a while, starting with school boys and athletes, the popularization of shorts as we know them today is credited to a Nathaniel Coxton who ran a tea shop in Bermuda. The story goes that during World War I, the British Navy stationed in Bermuda would crowd his small store and the mix of boiling teapots and tropical heat made it unbearable to work in there. He took his staff’s trousers to the tailor and had them cut off at the knee. The trend took off and Bermuda shorts were born.
“You have so many shorts, you don’t have to do laundry for a month.”
”Sounds perfect!”
Online shopping in Cayman is an entire ordeal which often requires shipping to a freight forwarder in America. They put your purchases on a plane or a ship and send it to the island adding at least a week, plus a pretty penny in shipping, 22% government tax, and other charges.
Even Amazon, which only started shipping very limited items to the island last year, can take two to three weeks to get a package of toothpaste to you but at least they offer some free shipping. Suffice to say it’s better to shop while you’re on vacation.
Flights from Miami to Cayman are notorious for people carrying piles of suitcases stuffed from weekend shopping trips. Bags are opened on arrival by gloved customs agents as they search for treasures over the duty free limit to charge. In my suitcase they will only find dirty underwear, I’m proudly wearing my new shorts.
While shopping may be limited, living on a small tropical island where it is always hot means most people just live in shorts. One must of course have shorts for every occasion. Workout shorts, sleeping shorts, running shorts, swimming shorts, boxer shorts, brunch shorts, and if you’re lucky enough to work for a tech company maybe even work shorts.
When visiting London last year, my wife and I were wandering around the city looking for a breakfast spot. I was of course wearing shorts, Summer in Europe can get toasty too. One establishment a friend recommended looked at me like I was lost, before making it very clear I was not welcome to dine there in my shorts. “These are Lululemon madam!” Not everybody appreciates my athleisure only fashion sense. We save the money for breakfast at a nicer joint in Cayman and find a quaint pub instead.
“I’ll go through my shorts drawer at home and give some older shorts away,” I promise, knowing full well the drawer is currently unable to close.
Most days my uniform of black shorts and a tank top for working out and living does the trick. Steve Jobs would be proud of my dedication to simplicity. But some days you need to add some colour in your life. Some days you need swim shorts so you don’t collect sand in dark places. A man needs shorts if he lives in the Cayman Islands, and an array of shorts this man has.
